Home » Entertainment » Germans who doubted Paul shown the true master being

Just as Paul the Oracle Octopus predicted with his arbitrary clam picking, Spain beat Germany 1-0 to advance to their first World Cup final. That makes Paul six for six in picking the outcome of Germany’s matches and proves his superiority over Jogi Loew’s unwashed sweater.

Before the match, betrayed Germans held up signs doubting Paul’s unknowing genius, but the wrath of Paul was exacted with the Spain victory. “Also octopus can be wrong,” they cried! No. No it cannot. And if you doubt his powers again, he will liquefy your intestines and blow bubbles while he does it. Because blowing bubbles is the closest thing to laughing maniacally an octopus can do.

So what now for Paul? Will he be asked to pick the final? Will he only pick Germany’s third-place match? Will he be eaten? Or will he break free from his German captors and begin a reign of tentacled terror, enslaving all human kind, declaring ownership of all the world’s decorative pillows and living the rest of his life in peace, free from intrusive cameras and silly flag-covered boxes containing his food? Only the oracle octopus can say.

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