Home » Fun » FIFA World Cup – This is the letter I wrote to my wife

Hope you will follow these guidelines from 11th June to 11th July 2010.

  1. You should read the sports section of the newspaper so that you are aware of what is going on regarding the World Cup, and that way you will be able to join in the conversations. If you fail to do this, then you will be looked at in a bad way, or you will be totally ignored. DO NOT complain about not receiving any attention.
  2. During World Cup, the television is mine, at all times, without any exceptions. If you even take a glimpse of the remote control, you will see the wilder side of me.
  3. If you have to pass by in front of the TV during a game, I don’t mind, as long as you do it crawling on the floor and without distracting me.
  4. During the games I will be blind, deaf and mute, unless I require something to eat or drink. You are out of your mind if you expect me to listen to you, open the door, and answer the telephone.
  5. Please don’t make any funny faces to my friends when they come over to watch the games. In return, you will be allowed to use the TV in the afternoon, unless they replay a good game that I missed.
  6. Please, please, please!! If you see me upset because one of my teams is losing, DO NOT say “get over it, it’s only a game”, or “don’t worry, they’ll win next time”. If you say these things, you will only make me angrier and I will love you less. Remember, you will never ever know more about football than me and your so called “words of encouragement” will only lead to a quarrel.
  7. You are welcome to sit with me to watch one game and you can talk to me during halftime but only when the commercials are on, and only if the halftime scores is pleasing me. In addition, please note I am saying “one” game; hence do not use the World Cup as a nice cheesy excuse to “spend time together”.
  8. Tell your friends NOT to have any babies, or any other child related parties or gatherings that require my attendance because:
    (a)I will not go,
    (b) I will not go, and
    (c) I will not go.
  9. But, if a friend of mine invites us to his house on a Sunday to watch a game, we will be there in a flash.
  10. The daily World Cup highlights show on TV every morning is just as important as the games themselves. Do not even think about saying “but you have already seen this…why don’t you change the channel to something we can all watch?” because, the reply will be “Refer to Rule # 2 of this list”.
  11.  And finally, please save your expressions such as “Thank God the World Cup is only every 4 years”. I am immune to these words, because after this comes the UEFA Champions League, the English Premier League, German Bundesliga, Spanish League and Italian Serie A, FA Cup, Europa League etc and etc.

Thank you for your cooperation

Your Loving Husband

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